From my perspective, persons view my situation differently this second time following cancer surgery. A steeper, less hopeful spiral. My place less secure, more obviously now in the 'sacred precinct' of facing death. More fascinating perhaps, but less attractive. I know that my case is a microcosm for Everyman - as I espied in A Little Guide for Your Last Days. What am I aiming toward? Healing? Please. Isn't that just the kind of vapid trail of thought of our age (Modern, post-modern ... what is that all about if not a whiney child sitting in a corner)?
No. I am aiming to avoid a lack of gratitude. Lord, save me from this fate! To fall into such a place of silly attempts to avoid my - our - mortality, is once again to stumble into the mimetic swirl of ontology by comparison; the hall of mirrors others have limned so clearly.
No, Lord. I will remain grateful to You - for every moment, for every person with whom I come in contact. For we are, all of us, beholden to You for our very Being, on loan while we have life and breath.
If any are scandalized by my stance of faith, I regret it. But I believe most fully in the magisterium vouchsafed by the Catholic Church, the revealed knowledge of our covenant-making, covenant-keeping God, Three-in-One, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
So I thank You, Source of my being, for all that I have and all that I am. Thank You for Your inestimable gift of the Church and Your eucharistic grace within Her. Deo gratias. +
1 comment:
Beautifully said and so obviously deeply felt. From a place (for the time being) of greater safety, I nevertheless completely concur on all points.
God bless you.
Gil
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