Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Terror Novas

As the inevitable standardized test taking time of year comes round again, I see our newer faculty faced with the prospect of their students making them look bad by their low scores. Ah, the panic.

Suddenly, I realize with an unexpected dread that there is no way (or IS there?) to spin their effort, their indifference, their ineptitude, their forgetfulness. I can't blame it on my predecessor or last year's teacher (well, maybe a little - "I couldn't make up THAT much ground. What can one expect?")

And this leads me to realize how gifted certain people are at avoiding such confrontations their whole life long. Wow. It is impressive even if massively shirking. How many people do you know who, unlike Rousseau, never were put under a master? Awesome job, old chap.

What one must then deal with is one's own feelings of resentment toward those who besmirch one's abilities. And why do we fear being cast in a bad light? We fear it because it may show that we are indeed victim-fodder for the fickle finger of Fate; that our ontological substantiation is indeed sub-standard to that of the Psalmist (139); that our fear of looking bad is greater than our ability to love and forgive.

In short, how much we are still slaves to the power of the primitive sacred.

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