Saturday, June 26, 2010

Dispatch from the Front

From my perspective, persons view my situation differently this second time following cancer surgery. A steeper, less hopeful spiral. My place less secure, more obviously now in the 'sacred precinct' of facing death. More fascinating perhaps, but less attractive. I know that my case is a microcosm for Everyman - as I espied in A Little Guide for Your Last Days.

What am I aiming toward? Healing? Please. Isn't that just the kind of vapid trail of thought of our age (Modern, post-modern ... what is that all about if not a whiney child sitting in a corner)?

No. I am aiming to avoid a lack of gratitude. Lord, save me from this fate! To fall into such a place of silly attempts to avoid my - our - mortality, is once again to stumble into the mimetic swirl of ontology by comparison; the hall of mirrors others have limned so clearly.

No, Lord. I will remain grateful to You - for every moment, for every person with whom I come in contact. For we are, all of us, beholden to You for our very Being, on loan while we have life and breath.

If any are scandalized by my stance of faith, I regret it. But I believe most fully in the magisterium vouchsafed by the Catholic Church, the revealed knowledge of our covenant-making, covenant-keeping God, Three-in-One, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

So I thank You, Source of my being, for all that I have and all that I am. Thank You for Your inestimable gift of the Church and Your eucharistic grace within Her. Deo gratias. +

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Deo Gratias

First of all, a huge thank you for all of your prayers. I am home and happy to be so. The experience provided a few surprises. Dr. Choti at Johns Hopkins began my surgery nearly three hours later than expected last Wednesday, but all went well.

He routinely removed the gall bladder, what happens with all liver resectioning, no encroachment of CA there. The tumors were all removed. I provided him with a surprise, however. The CA had moved to the diaphragm. This never appeared on any CTscan or MRI, but makes sense of other symptoms; namely, the originating complaint of pain when laughing, running, yawning, etc. This being the case, the CA in the diaphragm was probably there since at least my father's birthday, February of 2009. Dr. Choti asked if I had had pain in my shoulder - a big "YES" - which is a key symptom of problems in the diaphragm. The tumors in the diaphgram, now, are gone.

So, the hidden CA in the diaphragm led us to the early diagnosis of CA in the liver while it was still quite operable AND the removal of the CA in the diaphragm which Choti says he successfully removed. I am breathing easy, the shoulder is not nearly as painful, and except for the usual pain of going through the muscle wall, I am not doing poorly at all.

On the other hand, I cannot do any exercise other than walking, I cannot drive while on Oxycodone pain medicine, and are under orders to "mend" for the next 3 weeks, after which I see Dr. Choti to strategize.

Again, thank you for your kind well wishes and prayers; keep them coming!